Fun Quotes
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute…screw the fruit
"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"
"A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."
"Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you."
"Love doesn't make the world go round, Love is what makes the ride worthwhile"
Everything in this room is eatable. Even I am eatable, but that, children, is called cannibalism
and is frowned upon in most societies- Willy Wonka in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you
I do not do drugs. I do sugar.
I understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how rock can beat scissors, but there is noooo way paper
can beat rock! Is paper supposed to magically wrap it's self around the rock and leave it immobile? If so why
can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't there pieces of
paper constantly suffocating people as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, cause paper
can't beat anything! a rock would tear that crap in seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors i always pick
rock. Then when some claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face and say "Oh
sorry i thought paper would protect you!!"
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
I smile because I have no idea what's going on!
I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!
I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT
is an anagram of TEAM...
It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?
Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish
burn?
They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood
there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
My favorite word is sarcasm.
Remember what you just said, because tomorrow I am going to have a witty and sarcastic comeback
and you'll be devastated then!
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling
us to sit down and shut up.
I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.
"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you!
You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin
"You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot.
Thanks for embracing it.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of
something that happened yesterday.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of
mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway.
The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call
"a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic.
I apologize, do you want me to mean it too?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation?
"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' and then it hits me."
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face.
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already
Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research.
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